Greetings,

In honor of my son's first Christmas (and because I really like the
poem), I'm committing "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (a.k.a. "'Twas
the Night before Christmas") to memory. This has caused me to
scrutinize the syntax a bit, and I find the following a little odd:

1. "More rapid than eagles his coursers they came"
2. "So up to the housetop the coursers they flew"
3. "And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreathe"

In the original, the comma in (3) may not have been used. In (3),
it is clear that so-called "Left Dislocation" is being used. Would you say
that's also what is happening in (1) and (2). Thus, is (1) a rearrangement
of "His coursers, they came more rapid than eagles"? If so, isn't that odd?

A SECONDARY MATTER: The meter is clearly anapestic tetrameter,
and I don't see any obvious departures. That's why, even though I naturally
pronounce "mama" like this (MA-ma), I'm inclined to scan the line with that
word so that the accent falls on the second syllable:

"and ma MA | in her 'KER | chief and I | in my CAP"

A TERTIARY MATTER: For those of you who may be aware of the
controversy surrounding who authored this poem -- perhaps the most
famous poem yet written in the U.S. -- I'd be very interested to know whether
you think it was Clement Clarke Moore or Major Henry Livingston. : )

Thank you.

the text:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43171/a-visit-from-st-nicholas

On Sunday, October 22, 2023 at 1:14:37 AM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
> Greetings,
>
> In honor of my son's first Christmas (and because I really like the
> poem), I'm committing "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (a.k.a. "'Twas
> the Night before Christmas") to memory. This has caused me to
> scrutinize the syntax a bit, and I find the following a little odd:
>
> 1. "More rapid than eagles his coursers they came"
> 2. "So up to the housetop the coursers they flew"
> 3. "And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreathe"
>
> In the original, the comma in (3) may not have been used. In (3),
> it is clear that so-called "Left Dislocation" is being used. Would you say
> that's also what is happening in (1) and (2). Thus, is (1) a rearrangement
> of "His coursers, they came more rapid than eagles"? If so, isn't that odd?
....

Yes, I'd say that's what's happening, and I don't think it's odd for light verse.

--
Jerry Friedman

On Sunday, October 22, 2023 at 6:59:13 AM UTC-7, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> On Sunday, October 22, 2023 at 1:14:37 AM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
> > Greetings,
> >
> > In honor of my son's first Christmas (and because I really like the
> > poem), I'm committing "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (a.k.a. "'Twas
> > the Night before Christmas") to memory. This has caused me to
> > scrutinize the syntax a bit, and I find the following a little odd:
> >
> > 1. "More rapid than eagles his coursers they came"
> > 2. "So up to the housetop the coursers they flew"
> > 3. "And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreathe"
> >
> > In the original, the comma in (3) may not have been used. In (3),
> > it is clear that so-called "Left Dislocation" is being used. Would you say
> > that's also what is happening in (1) and (2). Thus, is (1) a rearrangement
> > of "His coursers, they came more rapid than eagles"? If so, isn't that odd?
> ...
>
> Yes, I'd say that's what's happening, and I don't think it's odd for light verse.
>

Thank you, Jerry. If you don't mind, I'd love to have your feedback on my
scansion of "But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer." I know you won't
like the use of foot divisions, but I wonder if you think the stress pattern fine:

but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and EIGHT | ti ny REIN deer

According to that scansion, the third foot (or whatever a foot becomes when
feet are renounced) is iambic rather than anapestic, so as to prevent the
awkwardness of the alternative. At least, I find it unnatural to say "rein-DEER":

but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and eight TI | ny rein DEER

Also, stressing "EIGHT" seems to draw out the speakers surprise at their number.

> --
> Jerry Friedman

On Monday, October 23, 2023 at 11:38:59 PM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
....

> If you don't mind, I'd love to have your feedback on my
> scansion of "But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer." I know you won't
> like the use of foot divisions, but I wonder if you think the stress pattern fine:

I have nothing against foot divisions as a convenience.

> but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and EIGHT | ti ny REIN deer
>
> According to that scansion, the third foot (or whatever a foot becomes when
> feet are renounced) is iambic rather than anapestic, so as to prevent the
> awkwardness of the alternative. At least, I find it unnatural to say "rein-DEER":
>
> but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and eight TI | ny rein DEER
>
> Also, stressing "EIGHT" seems to draw out the speakers surprise at their number.

That strikes me as a more natural way to read the line, but at the cost of
a "light" rhyme. I suspect way Moore (or whoever) and his readers would
have considered "eight TIny reinDEER" the lesser evil, but I don't know.

--
Jerry Friedman

On Wednesday, October 25, 2023 at 6:55:01 AM UTC-7, Peter T. Daniels wrote:
> On Tuesday, October 24, 2023 at 11:28:01 PM UTC-4, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> > On Monday, October 23, 2023 at 11:38:59 PM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
>
> > > If you don't mind, I'd love to have your feedback on my
> > > scansion of "But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer." I know you won't
> > > like the use of foot divisions, but I wonder if you think the stress pattern fine:
> > I have nothing against foot divisions as a convenience.
> > > but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and EIGHT | ti ny REIN deer
> > > According to that scansion, the third foot (or whatever a foot becomes when
> > > feet are renounced) is iambic rather than anapestic, so as to prevent the
> > > awkwardness of the alternative. At least, I find it unnatural to say "rein-DEER":
> > > but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and eight TI | ny rein DEER
> > > Also, stressing "EIGHT" seems to draw out the speakers surprise at their number.
> >
> > That strikes me as a more natural way to read the line, but at the cost of
> > a "light" rhyme. I suspect way Moore (or whoever) and his readers would
> > have considered "eight TIny reinDEER" the lesser evil, but I don't know..
> And you might hear it read several times in the upcoming season by trained
> actors with directors, and that's how they'll read it.

My thanks to you both! It's interesting how the need for rhyme on the stressed
syllable can trump the need for metrical variation that will ensure natural word stress.

On Thursday, October 26, 2023 at 2:46:07 PM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
> On Wednesday, October 25, 2023 at 6:55:01 AM UTC-7, Peter T. Daniels wrote:
> > On Tuesday, October 24, 2023 at 11:28:01 PM UTC-4, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> > > On Monday, October 23, 2023 at 11:38:59 PM UTC-6, Metrist2021 wrote:
> >
> > > > If you don't mind, I'd love to have your feedback on my
> > > > scansion of "But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer." I know you won't
> > > > like the use of foot divisions, but I wonder if you think the stress pattern fine:
> > >
> > > I have nothing against foot divisions as a convenience.
> > >
> > > > but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and EIGHT | ti ny REIN deer
> > > > According to that scansion, the third foot (or whatever a foot becomes when
> > > > feet are renounced) is iambic rather than anapestic, so as to prevent the
> > > > awkwardness of the alternative. At least, I find it unnatural to say "rein-DEER":
> > > > but a MIN | ya ture SLEIGH | and eight TI | ny rein DEER
> > > > Also, stressing "EIGHT" seems to draw out the speakers surprise at their number.
> > >
> > > That strikes me as a more natural way to read the line, but at the cost of
> > > a "light" rhyme. I suspect way Moore (or whoever) and his readers would
> > > have considered "eight TIny reinDEER" the lesser evil, but I don't know.

> > And you might hear it read several times in the upcoming season by trained
> > actors with directors, and that's how they'll read it.

> My thanks to you both! It's interesting how the need for rhyme on the stressed
> syllable can trump the need for metrical variation that will ensure natural word stress.

That works in this kind of sing-song verse but not in a lot of 20th- and 21st-century
poetry.

"What is the late November doing
With the disturbance of the spring
And creatures of the summer heat,
And snowdrops writhing under feet [...]"

--T. S. Eliot, "East Coker"

--
Jerry Friedman